Over the Line!

8:20 pm You’re killing America

So, I’m currently sitting here watching the backstreet boys, featuring tampa bay’s own Nick “i got arrested for sexual assault in Channelside” Carter butcher the national anthem, could this be considered a form of domestic terrorism? and if so, I would like to know what the presidential candidates plan to do about it, and then and only then would I support single issue voting.

8:36 pm Cast your vote

8:45 pm Profound words

All great comebacks start when you’re down. Kazmir gives up a homerun to Chase Utley, who some picked to win the MVP this year in the National League.

8:51Those Japanese are fast

Akinora Iwamura, the man who fielded and recorded the last out gets an infield hit. Iwamura led the team in Infield Hits this season with 28

9:09 pm Several things in Life are Certain

Death, Taxes, and being thrown out by B.J. Upton at home, seriously, is there a better arm in baseball? I submit there is not. Shane Victarino is pretty fast, but obviously no match for B.J. Upton.

9:27 Don’t count your eggs before they hatch

Leadoff double Mr. Werth? well you had a cool breeze at third while you watched Ryan “Mr. RBI” Howard and Pat “older than John McCain” Burrell strike out swinging to end the inning.

9:39 Don’t count your eggs before they hatch pt. 2

B.J. Upton grounds into a bases loaded double play 5-4-3.  Rather depressing, but we sojurn on, still six innings to play, and as we already know from the 8:45 pm update, all great comebacks start when you’re down.

9:55 Do your Job

While the announcers talk about shoe-tying and how awesome Cole Hammals is, Carl Crawford, not known for being a power hitter knocks one over the right field wall, meanwhile the atbat to Aybar begins, and they show replays instead of the pitches. Who’s directing this telecast?

10:08 Fox Trax

I don’t want to know where the pitch lines up according to the strike zone, let me be ignorant and yell at the tv saying it was a strike, also, tough play at first involving a dropped ball with an error charged on carlos pena, not sure if i agree with the error on his part, or on the bad throw by Kaz, your thoughts are welcomed in the comments section.

10:18 pm Needless Wondering

Are Boston fans more likely to root for the Rays so it in some small way validates their loss? Or are they rooting for the Phills so they can somehow vicariously acheive revenge on the team that ousted them from the playoffs?

10:23 pm A recipe for disaster

Josh Bartlett just stole second base, fulfilling the taco bell qualifications of if someone steals a base in game one, America gets a free taco tomorrow from 2-6p. Consider getting a whole bunch of your friends together, and grabbing a free taco, and take the money you would have spent and donate it to a worthwhile charity. Bartlett’s stolen base, allows him to score on Akinori Iwamura’s double to the left center gap, making him 3-3.

10:28 On the other hand…

B.J. Upton is now 0-3, including become only the second player to ground into doubleplays in his first two World Series at bats.

10:37 pm Quality Start

Scott Kazmir has pitched a quality start, meaning that he has allowed 3 runs or less in 6 innings. As Joe Buck so astutely pointed out, this is a stat made up by agents to get their clients more money. Joe Buck rarely makes astute observations, and the last remark i made about him making one, should be taken completely sarcastically.

11:02 pm If you did your job

Dear J.P. Howell,
If you did your job, you wouldn’t have to yell the “F” word loudly on national television, way to set a positive example. Talk to Gabe Gross, he’d be glad to share the hope found in the Christian faith with you.
Sincerely,
mike!
p.s. The Aussie took care of finishing the inning for you.

11:06 pm

The lady singing God Bless America should have sung the National Anthem, she’s head and shoulders above the backstreet boys when it comes to not butchering national songs. Perhaps she could be my staff seargent in the fight against domestic terrorism, as mentioned in the 8:20 update.

11:26 Not quite there

The pitch tracker is proving the umpire to be incorrect right around 20% of the time. Looks like there will be some layoffs in this profession due to poor job performance, one can only hope.

11:29 Can’t be perfect all the time

Akinori Iwamura flies out to Werth now making him 3-4, interesting fact of the night, all four hits given up by Hammals (two singles, and a 2b by Iwamura, and a solo HR by Crawford) came from left hand batters, typically left hand batters struggle against left hand pitchers.

11:32 but sometimes you can be

Upton, perfectly 0-4, also, I am baffeled that I have yet to recognize any of the people shown in the crowd, you would think out of the 40,000+ people there, I would recognize at least one person. This is a shame.

11:42 pm not related to ballgame

My roomates girlfriend Becca (that is her name) just mentioned that there is a movie theater in her hometown of Plainwell, MI that has movies for $2.50 which in her words is “Cheaper than a whopper!”

11:45 related to ball game, possible anurism

Ryan Howard strikes out, stranding me, Rays bring in Dan Wheeler, this is the cause of the anurism that could take place.

11:51 pm

God answers prayers, Dan Wheeler doesn’t suck, and I am still healthy and brain-injury free

11:57 pm Sidenotes

Brad Lidge is dynamite, killing us, strikes out Pena and Longoria, about to strike out Crawford, Tim McCarver just showed us why he is a terrible announcer with a comment about Cement Mixers? or something of the like.
also, I made a bad joke.

12:01 pm Finale

Game one has ended, Phills win the game 3-2, I am being made fun of, but as I recall, Boston won game one, and we saw how that turned out didn’t we?

Dare to be great, you’ve been a great audience.